Remission
by CheyWolfe
Summary: Soubi thinks that getting Ritsuka something for Valentine's Day is a lot harder when he's just focused on keeping Ritsuka alive and persuading him to get treatment for depression. One-shot 1/3


Picking out a Valentine's day gift, Soubi thought, is a lot harder when he's trying to keep Ritsuka alive. He scanned the bookshelves at the bookshop, in hopes to find one that Ritsuka will like, though all of them just seemed too depressing. Soubi knew all-too-well that Ritsuka already has had enough things in his life to make him sad. He really doesn't need any more.

Finally, Soubi picked a book off of the manga shelf, a happier looking one, and took it to the register to check out. He wondered if Ritsuka is alright. He refused to leave the child alone after what Soubi found out about a couple weeks previous, so he left the Zero boys and Kio watching over Ritsuka at home. He was reluctant, but he decided that his dear Sacrifice would be alright for a few hours.

The cashier was flirting with him relentlessly, but Soubi brushed off her passes just as he did everyone else. He gets flirted with a lot, maybe too much, but he only has eyes for one adorable little thirteen year-old. He suddenly remembered how Ritsuka acts whenever someone flirts with Soubi. It brings a smile to his face as he recalls how Ritsuka had grabbed his arm and pulled him away almost immediately. Suddenly, Soubi really wanted to go home and see if he could bring a smile to Ritsuka's face.

Ritsuka was waiting for him when Soubi came back home, which surprised him since the Sacrifice hadn't gotten out of bed much in the past two weeks. It made him happy that Ritsuka was feeling a little bit better. He was sitting on the couch, black wristbands covering his wrists. Soubi smiled at him and, to his surprise, Ritsuka smiled back in a way that didn't seem forced at all. Soubi had had his hopes up ever since Ritsuka had rolled over that morning and kissed him goodbye, wishing him a happy Valentine's day and telling him to be careful driving. Maybe Ritsuka really was getting better.

"I…I tried to make you a cake," Ritsuka said, pointing to the kitchen, which looked as though a bag of flour had exploded. "I'm sorry…it didn't turn out right…"

Soubi glanced over at Kio, who just frowned in silent communication. At least Ritsuka had gotten out of bed. It wasn't like he was going to be instantly cured of his sudden depression. He was proud of Ritsuka for at least making it out of bed to play video games with Natsuo and Youji.

Soubi tapped Ritsuka's shoulder, getting his attention again, "Let's go into the bedroom." He took Ritsuka's smaller hand in his own, pulling him into the bedroom. Ritsuka didn't do anything to object and he even let Soubi scoop him up into his arms once they were alone and behind closed doors. Of course, he did give a little protest one Soubi lifted him fully off the ground.

"Soubi…I'm too big for this…" Ritsuka complained, though Soubi could tell that he didn't want to be put down.

Soubi nuzzled one of his kitten ears, feeling the little hairs just inside of them tickle his nose. It wasn't hard to remember a time when doing this would've made Ritsuka laugh. Even now Soubi thought he heard a faint giggle, but he was surely just imagining it. Ritsuka hid his face in the fabric of Soubi's shirt, reaching up and locking his arms around his neck, still mumbling protests about being too big and too heavy to be lifted and held like this.

"You'll never be too big for me to hold," Soubi reassured him, sitting on the large double bed and setting Ritsuka down on the comforter. The bed was made, Soubi noticed as he took out the contents of the plastic bag he had.

"Close your eyes," Soubi instructed, watching Ritsuka do as he was told. Soubi leaned in, kissing Ritsuka's soft, sweet lips. He pressed the gift wrapped book and bouquet of roses into his hands and pulled away, moving so that he was sitting next to Ritsuka.

Ritsuka was looking wide-eyed at the roses and he didn't even open the gift before reaching over and pulling Soubi into a crushing hug. The young man couldn't do anything but rub his love's back and pray that Ritsuka wouldn't start crying. They stayed like this for quite a while until Ritsuka finally stopped hugging Soubi and picked up the roses, looking closely at them. He smiled, then, and Soubi just wanted time to stop. No, he didn't want time to stop, he wanted to go back to better times and prevent Ritsuka from getting depressed and hurt in the first place. If only he had been a little more persistent with wanting Ritsuka to move in. Maybe, just maybe, then he would have been able to have a better life.

"Thank you, Soubi," Ritsuka said, not looking at Soubi. He had unwrapped the book and was flipping through it, reading the first few pages and then looking at some other page. "Can we just lie here for a little while? I spent the day with Natsuo and Youji and Kio. I really just want your company now."

Soubi didn't respond by speaking, but instead he laid down so that he was on his back and pulled Ritsuka so that he was snuggled into his side. Silently, he took Ritsuka's arm that was over his chest and slipped the black armband off, rubbing the healing uneven scars below. Ritsuka whimpered, moving so that he was as close as could be and still able to hide his face.

Soubi had only found out a couple weeks ago. Up until then, he had no idea what Ritsuka was doing to himself since the teen had always been happy and content around him. That day when Soubi had walked into Ritsuka's bathroom to see him holding a razor with his wrists bleeding heavily, he knew that he had been missing something. It wasn't because of him, Ritsuka had told him through sobs. It was his mother. Soubi was apparently the person that made him happy and want to go on living. Still Soubi felt responsible for not seeing the signs before, even though there hadn't been any signs.

Ritsuka had showed him his diary as soon as Soubi cared for his cuts, and the man was shocked to see how long Ritsuka had been suffering growing depression. A couple times, he had even mentioned contemplating suicide.

Soubi supposed he had been a bit forceful in taking Ritsuka away. He told Ritsuka to get his things and that he was coming with him. Ritsuka had argued and fought with Soubi over it, but, in the end, Soubi had just picked Ritsuka up and carried him all the way back to his apartment.

Ritsuka had been mad as hell the first couple of days, so much so that he had refused to even talk to Soubi. During that time, he had still slept in the same bed as Soubi, curling up close in the nights and shooting him an angry glare before putting his head on Soubi's chest and closing his eyes. After the fourth day of not being talked to, Soubi finally forced Ritsuka to listen to his reasoning. That got Ritsuka talking and he had started crying and confessing everything again.

Ritsuka had been living at Soubi's house for the past two weeks and Soubi refused to leave him alone or let him out without being with him. He hated keeping Ritsuka cooped up like a dog, but he was afraid Ritsuka would start cutting again, or, worse, go back to his mother. Soubi had recently started begging Ritsuka to move in and go see his therapist more. He had asked once, but only once because he knew Ritsuka would never agree, to check into a hospital to get treated. Needless to say, Ritsuka had been very angry at that suggestion.

Soubi brought Ritsuka's wrist to his lips and gently kissed the scars a few times. He continued on, kissing up Ritsuka's arm and eventually reaching his neck. He nipped a little at the skin there, hearing Ritsuka make a small sound that sounded like a muffled happy sigh.

"I love you…" Ritsuka mumbled, making Soubi stop his ministrations.

"What'd you say?" Soubi asked, not sure if he heard correctly. He kissed the side of the teen's neck again, biting lightly in order to leave a little love bite.

"I love you!" Ritsuka said a lot more loudly, nearly yelling. "I love you, dammit!"

Soubi was in complete shock, but he didn't let that show. He had been waiting for Ritsuka to say that. He had wanted him to every since he met him, but he hadn't said those three words until now. Ritsuka seemed to be making a lot of progress today, with getting out of bed, getting dressed by himself, and even coming to terms with his feelings for Soubi.

"And…" Ritsuka went on, the shy look on his face pricelessly adorable. "Soubi, I'm going to check into the hospital like you wanted me to. But…I want you to come see me every day and I want to come home on the weekend."

"Home?" Soubi repeated, wondering how he found his voice. Ritsuka was agreeing to go in for treatment, something that never thought he would do. It made him happy, but he was confused why.

"That's something else…" Ritsuka pulled at a loose thread on his black t-shirt. "Can I move in?"

"Of course," Soubi grinned, pulling Ritsuka into a crushing hug out of his happiness. Ritsuka was going to get better. The doctors were going to help him. It was even better that he _wanted _to get better. It gave Soubi hope that things were going to look up for the both of them, even if it was going to take a while. Maybe they'd be able to live a semi-normal life after that.

"I can't breathe…" Ritsuka squeaked. Soubi loosened his hold on him, giving him an apologetic look for not knowing his own strength.

Ritsuka leaned up, giving him a kiss on the lips, "Happy Valentine's Day."

* * *

**I seem to be incapable of writing happy things. **

**This is one of three Valentine's Day one-shots for Loveless. All will be published separately because they have no correlation. **

**Please review and tell me what you think.**

**~Wolfie**

**P.s: the title comes from one of the definitions of remission **

_a lessening or abating, as of heat or cold, pain, etc.__a relatively prolonged lessening or disappearance of the symptoms of a disease_

icking out a Valentine's day gift, Soubi thought, is a lot harder when he's trying to keep Ritsuka alive


End file.
